Saturday, February 3, 2018

There Is No Special Session Coming

The following scenario is completely hypothetical. Nobody in Wyoming would hatch such a devious plan. Absolutely not. 

A group of dedicated statists in the legislature want to raise taxes. Early on, they are joyous and feel great about themselves. Then, slowly but steadily, voters and taxpayers begin to raise their voices and explain how bad of an idea their tax-hike plans are. 

The statists grumble and grouse and try their very best to get around their voters' resistance. However, stunned by the enduring resistance, they start realizing that their own re-election is in jeopardy if they vote for their own tax-hike proposals.

Confused and saddened by the prospect of not having more of other people's money, they start searching for solutions. One night, in a smoke-filled, scotch-stained backroom somewhere under an anonymous building in Cheyenne, they meet with the Dark Lord of the Good Old Boys to hatch a plan. Many ideas are thrown around, tensions rise as bottles and patience run dry. 

In the darkest hour of the night, when all hope of raising taxes seems gone, and pessimism is taking over, the Dark Lord of the Good Old Boys clears his throat and says:

"We will call a special session."

All of a sudden, everyone's frustration dies down. The cynical chatter is broken up and the room falls silent. The Dark Lord of the Good Old Boys has their undivided attention.

"Here is how we do it" he says. "When the last meeting of the Revenue Committee is held, you all let the Taxmageddon bills die."
"Please don't use that word" Representative Hytax complains. "That's what that damned Larson calls it."
"I find it amusing" says the Dark Lord of the Good Old Boys with a crooked smile.
"What does this have to do with a special session?" asks Representative Spendmore. 
"About halfway into the budget session, a special session is called."

Senator Biggov smiles:

"Of course!" he says. "How brilliant! In a special session, all we need to get Taxmagedd... uh, our big, beautiful tax increases... through the legislature, is a simple majority! I'm all for it!"

High-fiving around the room.

"We only run the special session for as long as it takes to get the tax increases approved" says the Dark Lord of the Good Old Boys. "Then we go back to the budget session, and... well... everything goes back to normal again."

Now, this is of course a completely hypothetical scenario. Nobody in Wyoming would ever hatch such a devious plan. Absolutely not.

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